‘Can we do that again and put a bit more emphasis on….’. Peter the film director from the BBC asks as
he also suggests the sound man to move the boom mike closer.
‘Ok, look at my left ear, and when you are ready.’
I must have said the same words or similar several times now
in several locations around the allotments, but these guys are professionals
and they just keep going. Lottie is dozing, curled up on the bench. ‘Can I just
get some rest here? I’ve been backwards and forwards all over the Farm and
allotments today and Iam probably not going to be the star turn you promised
me!’ she utters under her breath.
‘Come on Lottie one more time?’
Dogs, especially whippets, like to be filmed and get
attention but are not that good at playing bit parts and extras. It’s just not
what they were groomed to do.
When the BBC researcher rang and asked what was happening
down on the allotments during the Contra virus lockdown and about the history
of the allotments. I was more than happy to tell them. The next day they wanted
to come and film for some new show. How could I say no? Lottie started to brush
her teeth, demand extra brushing and started eyeing up her posh coat and
collar.
They sent me a script outline the day before filming. It was
about our buddying up with plot holders who were either in self-isolation or
shielded. The objective was to prepare their plots, plant them up and maintain
them whilst they were unable to work on them. Importantly to give them
something to look forward to on their return. They had arranged my neighbour,
whose plot I was looking after, also to be filmed via Skype.
‘Where does it mention me and my role?’ asked Lottie. ‘After
all, Monty Don doesn’t go anywhere without the dogs.’
‘You’ll be the star once they see you,’ I replied and a
questioning look usually reserved for food she has never seen before crosses
Lottie’s face.
The day of the filming started early and went on and on and
after lunchtime we both looked at each other and asked ourselves, ‘How much
longer?’
‘I bet David Attenborough doesn’t have to take this long to
create a few minutes of TV,’ Lottie moans quietly in my ear.
‘You’re going to be the talk of the Whippet MeetUp. The
other whippets are going to be very envious of you being on TV.’
‘I bet they will never see it and it will be on at some
obscene hour when all good whippets are curled up in bed.’ Lottie is now getting
bored and thinking of her dinner.
Finally, after some 5 hours the statement is made, ‘Ok I
think we’ve got it now. Just going to do some editing and take some GVs.’
I didn’t ask what GVs were. Well you don’t when you’ve been
on film all day and have had an assortment of folk looking at you being filmed,
do you?
The other plot holders who they captured on film some 3
hours ago have all long gone and Lottie and I now find ourselves held hostage
whilst GVs are taken and editing is performed in the pavilion. I look around
the door to see the sound man on his mobile whilst he is engrossed on his
tablet. Technology has shrunk and communications is such that someone up in
Salford is probably co- editing the film into the few minutes required.
‘I hope they got my good side?’ whispers Lottie.
‘Well they wouldn’t want your backside,’ I replied to a
disgruntled look from Lottie.
Finally, and rather suddenly, they were off, ‘We’ll send
over the consent forms and let you know when it will be screened.’
‘Do I have to sign a consent form too?’ asks Lottie.
We now await the 5 minutes of Lottie’s fame and she is
starting to get excited.
Tomorrow, the TV show.
